Stupid Things I Have Said in an Attempt to Make Things More Favorable for Myself but Which Had the Opposite Effect

Me: Ewww.

Byron: What?

Me: I just found this old, dried up, snotty tissue in my pocket. Ugh. There's one in the other pocket too!

Byron: You're gross.

Me: No. It's not mine. I just collect old tissues... that I find. That's less gross, right?

Byron: Sure.