basment music room ideas

the six of them

i am slightly nervous
about the strings

it is what i am

it is tired
seeking
searching
waiting
and done
wondering when the next train comes
all this same is nothing different
and in my head something is hurt

brain pain

i really did it this time
tumble bumble toil and stumble
down down i go
remembering nothing
causing a ruckus
havoc
flashing lights and sirens
one could imagine
and now?
i'm a bit dumber
and sore
put in my place
faced with a darkness
i can't quite put my finger on the pulse of it all

grab ass

sounds of the razor
untamed excitement
a need to be brass
loud
seen
heard and dealt with
waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting
always i'm living for the future
until the present grabs me by the balls and shakes me around
and says "you're here! here you are! there's nothing and no one and nowhere else!"

i want it

chair for hot tub deck

Sometimes, even the most real things,
a photograph you remember taking,
can begin to seem
like only a dream

shake hands

it's a shame for this paper

this paperles paper
that still takes a message
like piss on a park bench
like edge on a sewer
you're walking out darkly
you head straight to newer
sights sounds and tastes make
one hell of a border
there's nothing to wonder
when your whole world is wander
(the distance is small but incredibly scary)
if you want them to listen
better make it bigger (that sentence expands like a megaphone)

what a little romance can do...

so right now

i think i may be hearing things
afraid to sit up
afraid to be in range
there's nothing wrong with nothing
everything is
what're you saying

there's nothing to talk about
you satnd in smile
i'll stand in doubt
there's really nothing
left to say
there's nothing left to
talk
aaaaaaaa
booooout.

except you got me
second guessin
nothing is censored
let's hear about it
there's nothing i haven't heard before
except i never heard
that
 before,
not at all

you just got ta have rhythm. there's nothing you can envision except a beautiful prison
with gold bars and sequined jisism.  oah there's nothing if you say there's nothing.
you'll cause such a
bad habit
they'll say you moved at sounds that sounded habitual.
you'll say you moved at sounds that left you without a choice.

habit
rabbit
babbit
 abbott
dagnabit

grumpy

interrupted
ignored
displaced
at home
stalled
no longer moving
no improvements
to the form
undercurrent
is reaching
i've reached out before

Goals for audio visual remembering

London: toe touch in front of the changing of the guards, falling down on london bridge
Paris: a beret and a cigarette
Rome: holding a sign that says all roads lead to
Greece: karaoke of those summer nights or you better shape up
All I got right now...

besides and nevermind

and what you don't know
is charming
and what i do
is nothing
we both concede
the point is lacking
but what's to gain?
besides a story...

family

one part loves me
because i adhere to them
i please them
i hold my tongue
after all these years
the other?
they despise me
we rode together
we jumped in the water fully clothed
it was your first time
you broke in
you knew they'd fucked me over
now,
nothing.
you housed me
now,
nothing
only the ones i don't get
accept the me i show

et tu?

reaching out
slaps you in the face
shut down
looked down
let down
who even tries anymore
besides me
you do
i do
we do
but who are you?
i know you must know this too

next and then

nothing's lining up
nothing's clicking
i need to shave my pits
need to shave my legs
arrange the future
arrange the past
i'm feeling
oh so fucking crazy
i'm feeling under
appreciated
i need to give away
i need to make amends
arrange the past
then make some plans
nothing's lining up
nothing's clicking

Moving On by Larry McMurtry

So I'm reading this epically long novel called moving on. At the start, I was so endeared to the characters. They were flawed, yes, but they were real and the writing was so honest. Now I'm about 400 pages in and they've all become so unlikable and self centered and dishonest. At this point their lives are these pathetic little parodies of what they could have been. Sadly, I'm drawing all these parrallels to the real world - or maybe not so sadly. I suppose relatability is the point of a good book. I just hope it doesn't end with no meaning.

You cross your signals
You dot your lies
You send mixed messages
I feign surprise

YOu SeND MiXeD MeSsAgEs

the daily

so mostly working in the yard today. making another small brick patio. i somehow managed to forget over the course of a year what back-breaking work laying a brick patio is. i worked myself shaky. but, i'm getting lots of cool ideas about they yard in general, and things are starting to come together.
i spent some time looking up glass bottle walls. i'd really like to make a half wall as our back fence. it'd be crazy work, but we wouldn't have to contribute any glass to recycling for a long time. also, if we wanted to speed it up it'd be pretty simple to get donations. take a bucket to a party. there you go. easy.

still planning and researching outdoor mosaic surfaces. this one is a really intricate pebble rug. i'll never have the patience for it, but it does inspire. i'm thinking more large tile, bright colors. but this sure is pretty. reminds me of the seashell grave tops in the cemetery at my mom and dad's.


i've been writing some songs. trying to do the live thing and unhinge myself from my recording addiction. i just keep writing beginnings of songs, though. i know one will stick around for an ending. i've always done that with songs. even though i'm trying to break my recording songs habit, i'm still doing clip recordings so i can go back and check stuff out. i can't give up the habit completely yet! mostly i just want to make sure that i'm able to perform what i'm writing so i'm easing up on the layering and making sure i can do it live with a loop pedal. i hope to have some new songs to perform soon. although i'd rather get a portable power source and do a street performance than a show.
we'll see.

also, flash mobs are still on the brain.

checking in and signing off,
me (you)

first in another form

i burn bridges
with careless abandon-
ment
i will never
travel
that way again unless you
rebuild it