there is something we're hiding from. don't let them fool you with the common shit. it's not yourself. it's not your past. it's not your future. it's not commitment.
i felt the need for unavoidable rhythmic pause. sorry.
it's so much the undone that you can't even think to mourn it.
until you're mourning something else. then here comes regret.
it's usually gentle for me, i guess, for the most part. or i handle it.
but i don't think i've ever had a mourning that cut me. maybe my dog. i mean i know it did at the time. but i also feel bad mourning my dog more than any person i've known who has died. i don't get to know many people personally.
i don't know why. i try or i kinda try. so i guess i do know why. i want people to approach me. and they never do. it's weird. i have no idea how people see me until i make myself known. and not so much even then.