Goals for audio visual remembering

London: toe touch in front of the changing of the guards, falling down on london bridge
Paris: a beret and a cigarette
Rome: holding a sign that says all roads lead to
Greece: karaoke of those summer nights or you better shape up
All I got right now...

besides and nevermind

and what you don't know
is charming
and what i do
is nothing
we both concede
the point is lacking
but what's to gain?
besides a story...

family

one part loves me
because i adhere to them
i please them
i hold my tongue
after all these years
the other?
they despise me
we rode together
we jumped in the water fully clothed
it was your first time
you broke in
you knew they'd fucked me over
now,
nothing.
you housed me
now,
nothing
only the ones i don't get
accept the me i show

et tu?

reaching out
slaps you in the face
shut down
looked down
let down
who even tries anymore
besides me
you do
i do
we do
but who are you?
i know you must know this too

next and then

nothing's lining up
nothing's clicking
i need to shave my pits
need to shave my legs
arrange the future
arrange the past
i'm feeling
oh so fucking crazy
i'm feeling under
appreciated
i need to give away
i need to make amends
arrange the past
then make some plans
nothing's lining up
nothing's clicking

Moving On by Larry McMurtry

So I'm reading this epically long novel called moving on. At the start, I was so endeared to the characters. They were flawed, yes, but they were real and the writing was so honest. Now I'm about 400 pages in and they've all become so unlikable and self centered and dishonest. At this point their lives are these pathetic little parodies of what they could have been. Sadly, I'm drawing all these parrallels to the real world - or maybe not so sadly. I suppose relatability is the point of a good book. I just hope it doesn't end with no meaning.

You cross your signals
You dot your lies
You send mixed messages
I feign surprise

YOu SeND MiXeD MeSsAgEs